Me, My Life and I

Eggs are so easy to take for granted, unless you’re a chicken. They’re a two-part story that go in an infinite number of directions, so it’s important to know what each part does. Yolks, being the life force they are, enable pie crusts to be tender and batters to be rich. The whites are for structure, which is why they’re what make a meringue. When you’re whipping egg whites, the eggs should always be at room temperature because warmth affects loft, which, if you’ve ever been in a successful relationship, you know is true. If you forget to take your eggs out of the refrigerator, just put them in a bowl of hot water before separating the yolks from the whites. And try not to over-beat your eggs. They hate that. And don’t over-fold the beaten egg whites either. Both will deflate the bubbles that create the height (read: enthusiasm). Which is also a good thing to keep in mind with relationships. Think of your partner or your kids as eggs and don’t beat a point into the ground. Although, okay, an egg never got it’s heart broken.

Moving on — eggs are sized according to weight, also like people. A dozen Large eggs in the shell weigh 24 ounces, while an equal number of Extra Large eggs weigh 27 ounces, so it’s really important to use the size egg the recipe calls for and not try to fit a large egg into a smaller recipe. Refrigerate eggs as soon as you get them home and use them by their sell-by date, which is 30 days past their packing date. Just because eggs don’t wilt like fruit doesn’t mean they don’t get old and cranky, and want to punish innocent people for not knowing this. As for the salmonella situation, cooking eggs at 140℉ for three minutes, or to an end temperature of 160℉, will kill any bacteria and keep your eggs a force for good taste, not a bad night.