Eggs for Beginners
Tuesday, April 12th, 2011
Eggs are so easy to take for granted, unless you’re a chicken. Yolks, being the life force they are, help crusts to be tender. The whites are for structure. When you’re whipping egg whites, the eggs should always be at room temperature to achieve maximum loft. If you forget to take them out of the refrigerator, just put them in a bowl of hot water before separating. And try not to over-beat your eggs. They hate that. Or over-fold the beaten egg whites either. Both will deflate the bubbles that create the height.
Moving on — eggs are sized according to weight. A dozen Large eggs in the shell weigh 24 ounces, while an equal number of Extra Large eggs weigh 27 ounces, so it’s really important to use the size egg the recipe calls for. Refrigerate eggs as soon as you get them home and use them by their sell-by date, which is 30 days past their packing date. As for the salmonella situation, cooking eggs at 140℉ for three minutes, or to an end temperature of 160℉ will kill any bacteria.
Cream of Tartar, a by-product of wine fermentation, stabilizes egg whites and, more important, prevents them from deflating, which is why using a quality cream of tartar in lemon meringue pie is so important. It’s also why LMP is a smart choice as a bedtime snack if you’re dating an old guy with a heart problem who can’t take Viagra.
Vanilla extract can be made from scratch by splitting 4 or 5 vanilla beans and placing them in a Mason jar with 2 cups of brandy or bourbon. Store the jar in a dark place, although not the one you go to when you haven’t heard back from someone you’ve been dating in a reasonable amount of time. Let it stand for at least 2 weeks.
The same way a new pair of jeans shrinks the first time you wash it, tart dough also gets smaller as it bakes. So just like you might buy your jeans a little bigger to adjust for size, press your tart dough up the sides of the tart shell, making it thicker at the top edge, then press it a little bit higher than the rim. That way when it shrinks, it should fit perfectly. 
Ultrapasteurized cream doesn’t whip up to the same amazingly fabulous heights as regular pasteurized cream, so going for the extra money isn’t necessary. And if you overpay for the cream, you might be the type to over-whip it, too. If that happens and the peaks get too stiff, just fold in a few tablespoons of cream, one at a time, and it will lighten up. Same goes for you.
Slam dunkin like Shaquille O’Neal, if he wrote infromative articles.