On the way to her Thanksgiving dinner, Liz Walker in Hollywood, CA called Penelope with every baker’s nightmare, “My pie crust fell apart! I mean, it just shredded and wouldn’t roll out. I tried everything to stick it together, but in the end I had to run to the store and get some pre-made crusts. What did I do wrong?”

Penelope didn’t know. And besides, there was so much static on the cell phone. Was the butter cold enough? Had the dough been sufficiently chilled? Did she forget any of the (four) ingredients, like the flour? Maybe if Penelope had Martha Stewart’s number.

By the time Liz arrived at her dinner, the only thing they could figure out was that she had used wheat flour, and that maybe it had no interest in becoming pie crust. But that didn’t sound like wheat flour. It had always been so open minded about being substituted. Unless the wheat had some kind of chaff that didn’t let it combine with the other ingredients.

If there are any opinions, theory, or actual knowledge on the wheat flour debacle, please post a comment. Liz can’t go through that again.

(Almost) Homemade Blueberry Pie

The Pie Crust

Betty Crocker Pie Crust - Purchase only!
Look in the chilled food section

The Filling

• 6 cups blueberries
• ¾ cup sugar
• 4 tbs quick-cooking tapioca, pulverized in a mortar (very Quentin Tarantino)
• 2 tsp grated lemon zest
• 1 tbs fresh lemon juice
• ¼ tsp salt
• 2 tbs unsalted butter
• 1 egg, lightly beaten

Combine all the ingredients in a large bowl and let stand for 10 minutes
Pour the mixture into the prepared pie shell
Cut the butter into small cubes and sprinkle over the berries
Cover with the top crust, fold under the rim of the bottom crust and pinch the two crusts together
Crimp and flute the edge
Lightly brush the top crust with the egg
Cut 4 small steam vents in the top

Place the pie on a baking sheet and bake at 400° for 15 minutes
Reduce the heat to 350° and bake until the pie is golden and thick juices are bubbling through the steam vents, another 45 minutes more
If the edges are browning too quickly, cover them with a ring of foil

Adapted from Alice Waters’ The Art of Simple Cooking, Clarkson Potter/Publishers New York, 2007